Bullies
Rectitude- noun | REK-tuh-tood- Moral Integrity
End of elementary years and beginning of middle school can mean ALOT of things.
It's an exciting time; but full of change and hesitance...a changing of the guard in respect to a child enter new territory, getting older, and succumbing to the pressures and thought of others'. Sprinkle in a few ASSHOLE kids (may I add these ASSHOLES can be boys and girls...I play no prejudice to gender) and it can be a child's worst nightmare. My son is a kind person, don't confuse that with perfect, because how can anyone be? He is 10, and in all his imperfections, I see perfecto. He is humble and kind. My humble and kind child is feeling UGLY, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, and REJECTED...all facts of life, I know, but it doesn't have to be so. Some kids are more self-centered than others and they are hurtful and mean. It doesn't matter if they write the most beautiful bullshit essay for the DARE program vowing to always have their friends back or they're participating in Rachel's Challenge, a school program were a little bit of kindness goes a long way.....school programs are fine but they don't mean anything. It is a direct result of what is happening in our homes or what isn't happening. They learn to be an ASSHOLE from someone.....don't they? Kindness is contagious. It spreads like the pollen that I continue to find in my house even though all my windows are closed. That is how contagious it is. Children learn what they live and what they know. The boy who would give his shirt off his back..but quick pretend he had long flowing hair first, as he took his shirt off to give it to you. He shows empathy, integrity, and over all else; he is one hell of a friend. A list that an ASSHOLE(remain open about gender..ASSHOLE comes in all forms) made and put him on the bottom....I know, I know...great learning moment, fact of life...blah, blah, blah....but I say ASSHOLE. He can't see through my very, very, very clear lense...because my answer and yours is, "Who Cares? Why do you care what other people think?! Especially someone who isn't your friend?" Yep, not even his friend. So that makes them a SUPER ASSHOLE in my book. How do you explain to a 10 year old? It takes time to not give a shit about what other's think...a long long time. He can't wrap his head around why..so he thinks MAYBE if he has these tiny mole(i mean tiny) on his face removed that maybe he would be more handsome, more likeable. The list isn't even about his looks...FYI. So because of this list a normally confident, easy-going kid is frozen. Too many kids have taken their lives and have suffered for no reason....just because some kid was an ASSHOLE. If your child is one take a long, hard look in the mirror. Take your finger you point at everyone else and turn it at yourself. It's the ultimate in what I call "checking-in with myself". Even if your child is not a full-blow ASSHOLE, "check-in" with yourself. It sucks. It's sometimes embarrassing. I say sorry ALOT to my kids and I own my bad behavior often. I own it. It actually feels good to own your bad behavior. It makes it OK to turn it around. Own your actions and make changes...it's really hard to.....I struggle daily with it. None of us are perfect...I've got a list too..it's in my head where it is safe from hurting other's. Keep your judgements and your "list" to yourself.
Respect and discipline begin at home, when your child is mean and horrible not only does it show the brat in them but what an ASSHOLE you may be too. Accountability people. For the record, Cole is going to be just fine because he is so surrounded by an army of friends and people that love him. But, some kiddos are picked on and don't have an army of support. Practice Rectitude. All day long.
Lean in.
